• Sarah Holland-Batt

 

 

 

 

 

               Our beauties are not ours.

                                                      —Ben Jonson

 

 

A white bird floats out like a handkerchief

between the dark trees.

I follow it through needles of sunlight,

barefoot, the coarse wallaby grass

splintering sharp and dry

under my feet, the white corseted world

disappearing like a mirage

through brush. The bird calls, I catch

scraps of its screech like peels

of bark rustling between leaves,

I feel the silence itch over me

and the swamp gums

and silver banksia crowd my head.

And what if this path I climb

were never to exist, and what if these gullies

cradled stones here forever

that never plummet,

what if the ferns crept along my shins

and I felt their rough undersides

whispering there like poisonous silk,

and the bird circling in my head

fled and led me nowhere. I inch

along the cliff, I let a strip

of white linen loose in the wind

to ride out over the grey leaves,

and it drifts and drifts.

The bird wheels and turns, so white—

I want to call down to wake them

but I cannot see the clearing.

If you can move, move,

and if you can run, run,

the dark flowers are breaking

over my head,this is the end

that was always waiting here—

we will turn to ash, we will disappear.